Happy Birthday, Reichan!
by Dragon Mistress
Summary: A stupid fic I wrote in honour of my favourite Senshi’s birthday! April 17! Happy birthday, Rei-chan! Fight those cupcakes!


**Disclaimer:** I don't own most of these characters, they all belong to Naoko Takeuchi, but I _do_ own Kappuke-ki, she's my very own!  
  
**Dedication:** A stupid fic I wrote in honour of my favourite Senshi's birthday! ^_^ April 17! Happy birthday, Rei-chan!  
  
**Notes:** The name is not really a name. It's cupcake' in Japanese! You'll see why I used that for the youma's name when you read...... Takes place during the Super S season (my fave!).  
  
  
  
~**Happy Birthday, Rei-chan!**~  
  
  
Honestly, I really cannot believe this, Rei sighed to herself, hanging up the telephone. Everyone - _everyone_ - all down with the flu on the same day. And my birthday, too! She pouted and ran a hand through her long, purple hair. I guess I'll have to tell Grampa we're not having company after all...  
  
Feeling thoroughly depressed, Rei left her room and wandered outside, looking for her grandfather, whom she found bidding some visitors good-bye. As soon as the last person started down the steps, the old man turned to his granddaughter with a smile on his face.  
  
Everything all set? When are your friends getting here?  
  
They're not coming, Grampa, Rei said. They've all just called and said they couldn't make it. Apparently they all have the flu.  
  
Grampa was astounded. The flu? At this time of year?  
  
Well, it's possible. The only one I'm not really sure about is Usagi, she might just be faking it to get out of going to school for a few days. But everyone else I trust, and besides, they all sounded sick when they called.  
  
That's too bad, her grandfather said sympathetically, patting her hand. Tell you what, I'll make you a special fugu dish for dinner.  
  
Thanks, Grampa, Rei said, kissing his cheek and picking up her school bag. I'm leaving now.  
  
That day in school was less than fun. This was most likely because everyone at school insisted on treating her like royalty, just because it was her birthday. She couldn't even go to the bathroom without a group of chattering girls following her, offering their help. Let me get you a paper towel, Hino-san! Let me turn on the water for you, Hino-san!   
  
Lunch was worse. Would you like another rice ball, Hino-san? Oh, Hino-san, let _me_ get you a drink! Rei was very surprised that no one had offered to chew her food for her.  
  
She managed to shake off her admirers on the way home by quickly ducking into some random karate dojo along the way. Ignoring the stares of the sensei and his students, she peeked out from behind the bamboo blinds until her school mates finally disappeared. She heaved a huge sigh of relief and turned to the sensei. Gomen ne! I only needed to hide out here for a minute, she said, and ran out the door, leaving the sensei and his students very befuddled.   
  
But getting home that day was hard. Several of the girls from her school seemed to be patrolling the streets in search of her (why? why? are they that desperate? she wondered). Rei had to climb over fences, jump across a broken bridge, and run across several rooftops to get home without attracting the attention of the T*A girls. (But she _did_ attract a lot of attention from other people.) She ran up the stairs leading to Hikawa Jinja and collapsed at the top, panting and clutching a stitch in her side.   
  
Meanwhile the Amazoness Quartet had nothing better to do, as always, than lie around getting manicures. Despite many angry demands from Zirconia, the Quartet had done nothing in the past few weeks to help her locate Pegasus. Right now, they were lazing around, reading manga and eating cupcakes.  
  
Zirconia is angry, Palla Palla remarked as she picked pink sprinkles off her cupcake. She says we're not doing our jobs.  
  
Old hag, mumbled Jun Jun. You think she'd do something herself if she doesn't like the way we do things.  
  
Besu Besu shrugged. Well, what can we do? All she gave us was this heap of old photos. She reached into the pile and plucked out a photo with her long, scarlet nails. Here. Here's a target. Just send a youma after her. That way we don't have to get up.  
  
Cere Cere looked skeptically at the photo. Why does it say _No Pegasus'_ on it in Tiger's Eye's handwriting?  
  
Who cares? Besu Besu said carelessly, flipping the photo over to Palla Palla. Your turn.  
  
Palla Palla said happily, picking it up. Oooh. She's pretty. She looks like my dolly!  
  
Get moving, Jun Jun snarled at her. Undaunted by the others' attitudes, Palla Palla took the photo into her bedroom to think things over.  
  
What kind of youma should I send after this lady? she wondered to herself, looking at the picture, which showed a girl with long purple hair and a shrinekeeper's outfit. Then her eyes wandered to the half-eaten cupcake in her hand. The lightbulb in her head turned on.  
  
I have it! Palla Palla cheered, and ran to the Youma-making machine that Zirconia and bought off the Home Shopping Channel just last week.  
  
  
***  
  
  
Rei was sweeping the steps of the shrine, mumbling to herself. It was her birthday and her own best friends couldn't even come to help her celebrate. Even Michiru, whom perfectness seemed to surround like a barrier and ward off every possible type of injury or illness, was sick. Unbelievable.  
  
Climbing back up to the shrine, Rei sat to rest for a minute. Despite her disappointment, she couldn't help feeling happy and at peace in the warm April sunshine.  
  
  
  
Rei opened her eyes with a groan. Was it one of the girls from school, tracking her down?   
  
But it wasn't. It was -or at least, Rei thought it was - a woman. She had pink skin and bright yellow hair, and appeared to be wearing a giant cupcake instead of a dress. Her high heels were decorated with large cherries, and her hat looked like a blob of frosting with a cherry stuck in it. She was armed with what looked like giant birthday candles. Rei stared at this odd sight, transfixed. Even four years of battling strange youma nearly every day hadn't prepared her for something like this. Perhaps it was a sick birthday joke prepared by Yuuichirou?  
  
the strange cupcake lady repeated. I am here to give you a birthday surprise!  
  
Who are you? Rei wanted to know.  
  
I? I am Kappuke-ki! the woman said.   
  
Rei stared.   
  
Yes! Now, I will kill you!  
  
Well, this doesn't sound good, Rei said, sighing mentally, and held up her henshin pen. Mars Crystal Power, Make-Up!  
  
*SHOOM!*  
  
Rei stared at her henshin pen in horror. Instead of spurting flames everywhere, it had merely spit up a glob of frosting. What's with this?!  
  
Kappuke-ki cackled. I have surrounded this shrine with my special Non-Henshin Cupcake Spell! You cannot transform into a Sailor Senshi with frosting!  
  
No, I suppose I can't, Rei sighed, and seized her broom. Prepare to die, cupcake woman!  
  
She swatted at Kappuke-ki with her broom. Kappuke-ki retaliated with a wave of her birthday candles, setting Rei's broom on fire.  
  
Rei dropped the broom and stomped on it. It was badly burned. Grampa is going to be soooo pissed!  
  
Ha ha ha! Kappuke-ki laughed. You are defenseless!  
  
No she's not! a voice yelled, and Yuuichirou jumped into the fray. He stood in front of Rei and held his arms out in an effort to shield her. You nasty dessert-type woman! You can't hurt my Rei-sama! She is the sun and the moon! I'll give my life to protect her!  
  
Yuuichirou, you idiot! Rei wailed, trying to push him out of the way. Let me handle this!  
  
I will protect you, Rei! Yuuichirou shouted valiantly, but at that moment Kappuke-ki decided to launch a glob of frosting at him. It struck him squarely in the eye.  
  
Yuuichirou collapsed to the ground. Rei jumped over his writhing body and tried to kick Kappuke-ki. The cupcake woman jumped aside, flinging handfuls of cherry pits at the birthday girl. Rei shrieked as they pelted her.   
  
She drew back, panting, rubbing fruitlessly at a stain of cherry juice on the sleeve of her uniform. What would Usagi do? she asked herself, eyeing Kappuke-ki as the giant cupcake continued to pelt Yuuichirou with frosting.  
  
Her eyes lit up. Of course! I'm so stupid - she's a cupcake woman!  
  
And with that, she jumped forward and sunk her teeth into Kappuke-ki's arm. Not bad. She tasted like strawberry Pop-Tarts.  
  
Kappuke-ki wailed, giving up her frosting assault on Yuuichirou. There was a bright flash of light. Noooo! My special Non-Henshin Cupcake Spell!  
  
Rei held up her pen. Mars Crystal Power, Make-Up!  
  
This time it worked. Ignoring Yuuichirou (who was so blobbed up with frosting that he hadn't seen her transform), Rei yelled, How dare you show up and try to attack me on my birthday! How dare you turn Yuuichirou into a giant blob! I will make you pay! Mars Flame Sniper!!  
  
Her attack hit Kappuke-ki dead on. The cupcake woman shrieked and toppled over.  
  
Hey! Do I smell burning cupcakes?!  
  
Rei turned to see Sailor Moon and the others approaching, all of them watery-eyed and red-nosed, carrying armloads of presents, sleepover gear, and tissues. They dropped everything they were holding when they saw what was going on. They gasped in fear (or at least most of them did; Haruka started to gasp and only ended up having a coughing fit).  
  
Are you going to stand there or help me? Rei demanded.  
  
Oh! Right! Sailor Moon and Sailor Chibimoon jumped forward and did their thing. Kappuke-ki vanished into a shower of broken glass, like every other Remless. Rei slumped to the ground and sighed in relief.  
  
You showed up just in time, she said wearily. I thought I was going to have to take another bite out of her. I'll hate cupcakes for the rest of my life.  
  
Mako pushed the box of cupcakes she had brought into the bushes with her toe.  
  
  
***  
  
  
Rei sniffled. She snuffed. She coughed. And fumbled for the tissues.  
  
She had been very grateful to her friends for coming to give her a birthday party, even though they were sick, but spending the night with nine flu-afflicted girls had taken its toll on her. Yes, that's right. Poor Rei had the flu.  
  
Well, at least I can get some peace and quiet, she sighed, sinking back into her pillows and closing her eyes. Rest is the best medicine.  
  
The door burst open. No it isn't! Tender, loving care is the best medicine!  
  
Minako was standing at the door, dressed in a nurse's outfit.  
  
Not again! Rei groaned.  
  
  
~Owari!~  
  
  
  
(A/N: This was originally intended for Rei's birthday _last_ year, but I got caught up in other things (_The Marauders at Hogwarts_') and didn't finish it in time. I planned on writing a fic for Setsuna's birthday, too, but I _really_ missed that deadline. Well, at least I finished it for this year, right? Right?)  



End file.
